Last night I text an anonymous Mom/friend the following: 

“Seriously, I just asked David to watch Max while I went pee.  Max cried the whole time so David carried him upstairs to the bathroom and asked me ‘How long does it take to pee?’  WTF? Can a momma please pee in peace???”

She text back the kind of day(s) she had as well, with her husband (also a resident) working so much lately.

We each complained once, and that was it.  But it’s amazing how much better you can feel just venting to another Mom for a moment–one that you know won’t judge you, and understands exactly where you’re coming from.

I love motherhood.  And one of the reasons that I do is because I have made it enjoyable by trying my best to have a positive attitude about even the hardest aspects of the job.  By far, one of the best things I’ve done for myself as a Mom is found Mom support groups—both formally and informally.

When we first moved to West Virginia, I didn’t know anyone!  David was working all the time and I was working from home (not a great way to meet people or stay busy.)  I knew from the beginning that I wanted to form a social group of people in WV to have fun with and rely on for the next 6 years we’d be spending here.

While I was pregnant, I joined MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers.)  I found information about it online and on Facebook.  Most cities have at least one MOPS group, usually sponsored at a local church (check here to see if there is one near you.)  These women were amazing.  From the first meeting I went to (by myself) I immediately made friends and enjoyed the company. 

When I had Max, my MOPS group brought food, diapers, and presents.  They offered advice for me as a first time Mom.  They supported and encouraged me.

Now, Max and I still attend MOPS meetings every other Thursday morning, and I always look forward to the camaraderie the group brings.  There are also mom’s nights out and play dates during the week.  It is a wonderful way for Moms to meet other Moms in a supportive and fun environment.  I highly recommend it to all Moms, whether you are new to a city or not. 

I also joined a pre-natal yoga class, and made great friends that way.  That was  different from MOPS in the fact that these women were only days or weeks apart from my due date, so we were all quite literally experiencing much of the same things at the same time.  These moms are still great friends, and their kids and Max are only days apart, and love getting together to play.

Less formally, my sorority sister started a facebook group for all of us moms!  A private group, we are able to ask eachother questions and advice, or share funny stories about parenting.  Even though we are all over the country at this point, it makes you feel like help is very close by and a friend is always near.

Of course I also rely on my sisters and my own mommy—I have found that they are usually the most brutally honest ones, whether I enjoy hearing that at the time or not.  And I appreciate the pediatric advice my sister gives, though we are good not to bother her with too many “first timer” questions! (Hence the book she gave me….read about that here.)

 My friends that don’t have kids are also wonderful support.  They often provide a different and outside perspective that I wouldn’t otherwise hear. 

Other couples with kids have been great as well for me and David.  Sometimes it’s nice for David to have another Dad to talk too about—I don’t know, football—while me and the other Mom blab about breastfeeding, day cares, and immunizations.

So, I encourage you—new mom or veteran mom–to find support through any way you feel necessary.  A facebook group, a book club, coffee with the moms on your block, or an official and formal Mom’s club.  There’s something very liberating about complaining—I mean, sharing— the joys of motherhood with others who are willing to listen and help!